When is the last time you had fun? I know that sounds like an odd question. Maybe it’s an obvious yes for you, or maybe you actually have to stop and think about the last time you really had fun.
For me, this has been LITERALLY ✨Chris Traeger Voice✨ a focal point for the past year. Fun hasn’t always come easily to me. Not because it’s not there, but because I wasn’t tuned into the right frequency—seeking it out. This realization came up during some really great conversations with my psychologist—and if I’m being honest, this whole post is inspired by both those conversations and a cool podcast episode I heard on Ologies with Alie Ward (the episode is called "Funology," and it's amazing!) (Ward, 2022).
Catherine Price breaks down how we experience fun through three core elements: play, connection, and flow.
What is PLAY?
Play is considered a voluntary, enjoyable activity that is intrinsically motivated and not tied to a specific outcome or reward. It’s self-chosen and self-directed: You’re in control of the activity, which allows for freedom and creativity. The fun comes from the act itself, not from external rewards, and it’s guided by rules that come from within the players (Gray, 2011).
In short, play is about letting go and engaging in activities simply for the joy of doing them, without needing them to "mean" anything or achieve a goal.
What is CONNECTION?
Connection is all about forming meaningful bonds with others. It involves feeling understood, valued, and seen by others. These are moments of interaction where you feel genuinely linked with someone else, being fully present with each other, whether in conversation or shared activities (Bowlby, 1988).
In terms of fun, connection amplifies the experience. When we feel truly connected to others, even the simplest activities, like racing around a pond, become full of joy and meaning. The laughter, the shared challenge, and the moments we cross the finish line together bring a sense of belonging that makes the fun even richer (Price, 2021).
What is FLOW?
Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, who first coined the term, defines flow as a state of being fully immersed in an activity—when time seems to disappear, your focus sharpens, and you feel a deep sense of fulfillment. It’s when skill and challenge meet in perfect balance, and you're completely in the moment (Csíkszentmihályi, 1990).
A Weird Example of How I Recently Had Fun
One of the most joyful things I do is racing my family around the pond by our house. This game originated on a Friday night after we were all full of pizza, and my son realized he still needed to do his run for the day (he has a cross-country race coming up). He didn’t want to go, so I offered to race him and concurrently challenged my husband, offering a head start to both of them.
Here’s how it went: Rocco (our son) got a 45-second head start, Paul (my husband) got a 30-second head start, and then I would go. I’m not going to lie, I put on Alphaflys for this event, and even with that, I still ended up in second place by at least 3 full seconds.
It was hilarious, chaotic, and so much fun. By the end, I was collapsed on the ground, dry heaving and laughing uncontrollably.
The Takeaway
So here’s the thing: Fun isn’t something that just happens to us—it’s something we can seek out, create, and tune into if we’re open to it. It’s taken me a while to realize that, but this past year, it's been a game-changer for me (LITERALLY, in the case of racing around the pond).
Whether it’s spontaneous play, feeling connected to the people around us, or getting completely lost in the moment, fun has this incredible way of making life richer. It’s not just an extra—it’s essential.
Now to misquote Love Actually:
"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that FUN, actually, is all around.”
References:
Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.
Csíkszentmihályi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.
Gray, P. (2011). The Decline of Play and the Rise of Psychopathology in Children and Adolescents. American Journal of Play.
Price, C. (2021). The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. Dial Press.
Ward, A. (2022). Funology (Yes, FUN!) with Catherine Price. Ologies Podcast.
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